She sits among the crowd
does her best to blend right in
she tries to be inconspicuous
keeps her thoughts within
attention makes her fearful
maybe they will see
the positives she’s hiding

All Alone!

Hanging on by a thread
Alone! All my friends have gone
Why did they leave me?
How could they leave me?
Why didn’t I go along?

Didn’t I get the message?

Rows and rows, section by section
a maze to hunt for a new adventure
spines of every color and kind
bright, faded, repaired or disintegrating
textures of age and smells of time

It is said, you must live forward
but life can only be understood backward
and therein lies conflict!

So focused on today as an attitude,
allowing for plans, but avoid projection.

It’s the little things that make up who we are
the subtle habits that we never notice in ourselves
the behaviors that only those who care for us see

like the sudden surge of a new storm
the old -isms, thought dead and buried
begin to show again and demand attention.
the pendulum swing once again intensifies

what begins as a moment of introspection
or an excavation of past resentments
a digging into the past or deeper levels of self pity
suddenly becomes a hole with steep walls

Conflicting responsibilities
Create thinking disabilities
Stressing out over what I need to do

How do I keep on meeting
Situations that are competing
When my choices will make someone blue

So easy to encourage!
A little push forward with a smile,
a kind gesture... minus judgment,
can kindle a spark that ignites into passion.
The embers can be fanned

Sat with a blank page
For what seemed like forever
Tried to write something
That other’s would find clever

Read and re-read old stuff
For an idea or a spark
The page stayed blank

Respect or contempt
Parallel emotions
Running in opposite directions
Both based on perceptions
Either real or imagined
Traveling from polar positions
Feelings fueled by interactions

The gray surrounding us for what seemed like forever,
began the subtle change toward silver.
The feeling of choking on each breath that comes

The excitement and anticipation builds
Moving down a road traveled many times
Crossing the bridge and making a slight turn
Breaking through the foggy gray air

Help me! Fix me! Make me whole
Something is wrong with me
It’s settling in my soul
Give me a pill to make me feel alright
Can’t live the way I am
Don’t know how to fight

Memories spread across the screen
Some blue, some red, unmovable green
Randomly fill the white background grid
Defrag in progress!

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