Slowly
every motion a pricking pain,
nothing to live for
nothing to gain
all things right blown away
carried by the south wind,
all things wrong made true
how can I want your love
yet not want you?
The first time I saw you
you, smiling at me,
I thought it was special
like you made that upturn of your lips for me
I thought you were the one
I wanted to believe
even when
no more the calm you
could I see.
I'd see it in your eyes
the first thing to know you'd flipped,
burning black holes
of hatred, red hot anger
sparks of white fire
no matter what I did
you'd blame it on me
lose it all
lose control
even when I could speak no more
trying to croak out of my dry, bloody lips
crying, crying stop
please
you wouldn't, couldn't hear me
you'd gone beyond listening
you'd started something now
and that thing you wanted finishing.
I still don't hate you
for what you put me through,
I've left all that behind me now
wrong things are gone
right things are true
I've happier, brighter days
stretching ahead of me
yet I still wish for, I still long for
to rewind back to that first time I ever saw
you, smiling at me.