sitting down
I feel your presence
a nudge against my shoulder
soft, reassuring pressure,
your hand squeezing mine tight
holding me
protecting me
never letting me go.

mist draping down
low, thick fog
as if the whole world is disappearing bit by bit
until there's no more in front of my gaze,
like when you put that special fleece blanket round me
whenever I had a cold
my eyes closing on a will of their own
sleeping, your cool hand against my cheek.

rain starts
the first, single drop
a speck of moisture
from blackened clouds, high above
the sky is crying,
but it doesn't feel sad
only tired
tired maybe
of living.

like when you used to sit down
at the end of a long day
after we'd had a fight
an argument, a row
I'd said things I didn't mean
stormed out of the room
then stopped and guilt would wash over me
as cleansing as the rain
I'd peep through the crack in the door
and see you sitting
staring
out of the window
watching the night fall
one tear, a perfect tear drop
sliding down your face,
even then you weren't sad
just tired
tired
of me.

drizzle tingling my skin
like a constant feeling of pins and needles
subtle itching in my palms,
I always found it irritating
it got on my nerves
but now I don't mind
I get it a lot
sitting still in the same place without moving
limbs going numb

I find it nice
gentle
comforting,
the same as the lullaby you used to sing to me
rocking me to sleep
when I'd had a nightmare
scared of goblins under my bed
the voice of an angel so pure would penetrate my fears
carrying me away to dream.

my damp hair frizzes and curls from the wet
muscles stiff and sore,
yet I'm hurting more on the inside
then I glance up and open my mouth
the drink I'm having making me come alive
refreshing my senses
I feel you now, stronger than before
like the way you'd kiss me goodnight
a light of love left from your lips
melting into my head,
the way you put your arms round me
hugging, keeping me from harm
I always knew I was safe with you
you, my shield.

stretching my cramped legs
I slowly descend from your stone
walking the lonely path home
I hope you forgive me
I know you're still with me
because even when I'm scared, angry, lost
I know I have you
I know I'm not alone.