On A Knife Edge
You wanted to be with mum
That's why
You made death come.
You couldn't just let
Nature take it's course,
You had to destroy me
And fill me with remorse.
But I want you dad,
I really do,
I want us to be together
Just mum, me and you.
It's unbearable,
It's harder than tough,
It's fatal,
And I've had enough.
You're up there with mum
Just the two of you,
While I'm down here
When I want to be with you too.
I feel so broken
I just want to curl up and die
Then at least I'd be with you
Maybe it's worth a try?
But I know you'd want me to
Stay strong,
For me to just
Carry on,
But it's impossible when everything feels
Just so so wrong.
I can't do it
On my own,
I want someone to hug me,
To tell me that
I'm not alone.
Please mum,
Please dad,
If you're there
Look after me
I know you'd care...
I love you both,
You know what much
I guess that feeling
Should be enough,
But I just want us to be together
Like it always was,
Because it was just meant to be
Because,
Because...
I can't get my head round
To no one being here,
To put their arms around me
To wipe away my tears,
You must understand
That I just want to be with you
Let me come and stay
Though I wish there was another way.
At least if I'm dead
I won't have to think,
Or forever be on the brink,
A knife edge is my life
Because I'm stuck in the darkness
And I just know
That never again will I
See the light,
Because there's nothing to live for,
Nothing at all,
If I've nothing to hope for
Then I may as well hurry along
The approaching footsteps of
Death's call.
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On Sitting Down to Read King Lear Once Again by John Keats
O golden-tongued Romance with serene lute!
Fair plumed Syren! Queen of far away!
Leave melodizing on this wintry day,
Shut up thine olden pages, and be mute.
Adieu! for once again the fierce dispute
Betwixt damnation and impassioned clay
Must I burn through; once more humbly assay
The bitter-sweet of this Shakespearian fruit.
Chief Poet! and ye clouds of Albion,
Begetters of our deep eternal theme,
When through the old oak Forest I am gone,
Let me not wander in a barren dream,
But when I am consumed in the Fire,
Give me new Phoenix wings to fly at my desire.
Holding on to the past can move you and give you inspiration for life, but it can also take you away from moving forward in everything else life (true love really) has to give you. Do not let time distract you and bury you too deep in empathy pain and remorse.
For all it's worth...
I try
I try not to, I try to let go and move on, but then you think back and remember the times when you just wanted it all to end...I was buried deep, but I think now that I'm starting to emerge from that bottomless hole. Thank you, ♥
PS wonderful poem by the way, you get gripped into it straight away, you can read it over and over, yet each time you'll see a different meaning appear ♥
Hints the reason
I had this poem on a poster posted on my wall when I was growing up, I always found a new way to place it in pieces of my puzzled life. And I too always seem to bury myself wit shit that I later discover to be meaningless, but that is life, we like to burden ourselves with too much. I write, that's what saves me from eating a bullet. Probably shouldm't say it like that, but I have no shame for the things done in my past. I get over it and move on, but I still hold on a little for inspirational purposes. For "no art is possible without a dance with death."--Kurt V.
A good place to have it
I agree, what you think is so important at the time and makes you unable to think about anything else, is, when you look back on it, just another pothole in life's long road. Some are bigger than others and some scar you, unlike others, but if you can get up and carry on travelling then that's all that matters ♥
just a rant
That's really all you can do. Get up and keep going, unless you like going around in crcles, then more power to you, stay on the f ing ground
I know
You've got to accept things and keep moving, otherwise you stop at a dead end and hardly ever turn round...keep on the ground then go soaring in the sky ♥
I like rants...
You've got to accept things and keep moving, otherwise you stop at a dead end and hardly ever turn round...keep on the ground then go soaring in the sky ♥