(Friend rings up other friend to tell her the good news...
But by the way the conversation's going
You wouldn't think it was her that was getting married
Would you?!)

Omigod, you're getting married?
Wow, you certainly haven't tarried!
How did he propose?
Did he get down on one knee,
Produce a single rose,
Then say, “Will you marry me?”
Where did he do it?
At home
When you were on your own,
Over a candlelit meal for two
When you were just about to tie your shoe?
Was it a shock?
Or did you suspect that something was up?
I bet when he asked you
You certainly didn't say “Shut up!”
Of course you said yes,
Omigod, he must be the absolute best...
What's the ring like?
Hey, is it sparkly and flash?
Or something petite and dainty
You don't want to look too trash!
When's the wedding?
Obviously I'm invited...
Oooh, he's a right gent
It's a wonder he hasn't been knighted!
Will you go for a posh affair?
Or something more plain?
And don't worry, I'll do your make-up and hair,
There's no need to thank me, you'd do the same!
I can't believe it, it's so exciting.....
What sort of dress will you wear?
Will you go for traditional white?
Or something more funky and bright
Though with your skin colour don't go for green,
You'd look a right sight!
You want everything to go smoothly
Of course, I'm your right-hand girl!
We're best friends, aren't we?
I'll make sure it's the best wedding in the world!
So there's invitations,
Though don't invite Leaky Ron,
In the middle-ages he so belongs
And as for his other half, well, she's just all wrong!
I'll organise the reception
And the honeymoon, with a tad of deception,
Oh, and in the speeches, my name you will mention?
They'll be plenty of booze,
Though no one'll get drunk
And you deffo can't have a hen party
Without at least one stripper of a hunk!
Hey, hey, have you hung up?
Well, you didn't even bother to say bye!
Don't worry, I'll ring you later
I wasn't boring you, was I?!