Now he is my kind of guy
Come on, I'm waiting for you
Trying desperately to catch your eye....
I've been at it for an hour
But now I'm beginning to doubt
My sense of pulling power.
I've given you subtle winks
Lingering, puppy dog stares,
I've sat at an empty table
Tossed and played with my hair,
I've gone to the loo
And given you a nudge,
But maybe it should have been
More like a boxer's shove.
You're either really thick
(And seriously I mean
You've got less brain cells than a brick)
Or are playing me at my own game
A hard to get guy,
One who doesn't immediately notice my attention
But I have to say all that does
Is make me more determined to try....
Another 60 minutes of waiting
And (omigod yes!!) finally you're walking my way
Oh (damn it!) and straight past
That is not fair
You can't just walk away!
I'm about to open my gob
And call you a typical male
Leading me on when I thought you were genuinely interested
Because I hate having to admit when I've failed
When you suddenly stop
And turn to me
The smile of a true devil on your lips
A player for all to see,
Yet you're looking at me
Ignoring every other girl
You're sitting next to me and kissing my palm
Oh, for a flirting-only world!
I whisper like a cat who's got the cream
(Or maybe a teen who never thought she'd catch a man like this
Even in her dreams)
“See my nice new lip gloss?
Forget my hand, come a little higher
And help me take it all off...”
God, you are a catch
As to you myself I amorously attach,
You're leaving no stone unturned
Saying in my ear
“It's for rent you know
My long, wet tongue
Show me you want me
And I'll give you some,”
Well ladies, what would you do
If you were in my shoes?
Say no thanks but actually I have a date with my TV
Sorry, you lose??
Oh, you take me to your place
Lead me up the stairs
It's not long until I have
You completely bare...
You grab my hands behind my back
Then squeeze me until I fall straight into your lap,
We wrestle, I let you win
Draw the curtains so people can't see what state we're getting in...
I bet you want to know
What happened next
Did we only go so far
Or actually have s-e-x?
Haha, now I'm feeling like a certain sexy diva
(Look what a bad influence you've been on me, Linda O' Connell!)
I'm keeping that a secret
Because I'm just not the kind of girl
To kiss and tell!