It's Not Fair
I don't want to make small talk
I don't want to be nice,
I don't want to agree
Just for a quite life.
I don't want to act bubbly
Bouncy like the perfect hostess,
I don't want to be polite
Make comments cute and contrite
Give me some credit that I've at least my dignity left.
I don't want to be gooey
Sweet and innocent towards everyone,
Especially when you've done this to me
You've deliberately embarrassed and humiliated me
Squeezed out every drop of fun.
I don't want to sit here
Listening to you all chat and pathetically twitter,
As I glare daggers into each of your backs
My bitterness and anger growing thicker and thicker.
I don't want to smile
Be forced to “join in”
I don't want to shine like an angel
Washing away in the laundry rooms of sin.
I don't want to be likeable
I don't want to be me,
I want to be foul and twisted
And make you all scream.
I want to stand up and shout
Bellow at you all,
Make you cower in your seats
Like when you've countless times before made me feel so small.
I want to grab you by the hair
And lock you in a miserable little room,
Where I can watch you go quietly insane on your own
Madness your only doom,
I wouldn't throw the key away
Because someone might find it
So I'd melt it down ever so slowly
Then pour it into your eyes
Let it leak and sneak through your skin into your brain
Maybe burn out the lies.
I want to shriek and stamp and scream
Until I disappear before you can blink again,
Where I can appear in my own paradise
With no penetrating sunlight
Only cool rain.
I want to do all that
I want to be brave,
I want to leap and show you all
The fury inside me you made.
But I don't
I just sit here sulking
No one taking any notice, of course,
Grinding my teeth
Only opening my mouth when I'm made to speak,
Chained to my chair by force
While everyone else laughs and jokes,
I pick up my cutlery and pretend it's you
Viciously stabbing my food repeatedly
With my stainless steel fork,
Wanting it to be your head under there
Your evil eyes crying with remorse and despair,
I look out of the window and think again
That whiny, child phrase so apt for this situation....
It's not fair.
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remind me never to tick you off...
A very powerful illustration of how anger eats at you.
Perhaps you just need to chill out and have a Klondike bar or something...hee hee!
Great poem!
Take care,
Mark
Oh my bark's worse than my bite
only by a fraction mind hehe! I do get mad though, hence why it's written like it is! thank you Mark :D ♥
damn!
Now that is rage! Raging! I just feel like punching somebody right now after reading this. Hell yeah! I know what you mean about people working on your last nerve and wanting to lock them in a room. Never thought about melting the key and pouring it on them, but that's a good idea. I'm gonna do that to the next person that pisses me off! Thanks for the inspiration, Jewel, you rock!
Hahah!
neo, you always make me smile no matter how bad I'm feeling! thanks so much for just being you buddy! :D ♥
~Off With Their Heads~
Jewel,
This is cutting edge and brilliant. You have smothered us with what life "really feels like". My sentiments are with you; sometimes I want to scream people's heads off! Of course, cutting heads off would be a bit more dramatic.
We move into our positions and stay clear of what is right. Life has become dreadfully predictable with all the cheating and falsehoods. We have taken humanity to a new level, insanity. To error, is human, to intentionally error, is insane.
Chilling tale my dear, but I loved it. It screams a message that needs to be read...don't fake it till you make it, just live fairly!
Warmest regards,
Kathy
xo
Being fair
I try to be, though sometimes on the odd occasion I do have to go f*ck-better to let it out rather than chop their heads off....but that would also be brilliant heeh! aw, thanks Kathy for your words :D ♥