I think of you
Your kind face
That never gives up on me
No matter how much I disgrace,
I think of the way your eyes
Break into crow's feet when you smile
Your hopeless sense of fashion style,
I think of your eyes
So many times they've coaxed me into telling
What's been on my mind, what's been dwelling.
The way they don't just look at me,
The way they see through my own,
Reading my mind, you know when I'm lying,
So it's no use any more, I've stopped trying,
I have to be honest with you
You know when I talk to you that what I say is true,
But this time I can't, I can't tell,
My mind's under a will of it's own, an unbreakable spell...
I want to tell you
But there's something stopping me,
I want to tell you,
If only I could open my mouth
If only I could find the key.
I want to tell you
All that's going on,
I want to tell you
Where my problems come from,
They way I'm always empty
No matter what I do,
No matter how many times
I hurt or anger you,
No matter what mess
I get myself into,
It's always there, this hole inside me
I know you don't feel it too,
It's why you don't understand,
I want to tell you, I want to
But I'm no longer under my own command.
No matter if I get drunk
No matter if I get beaten up,
No matter if I unscrew everything
Or lock it away, completely shut.
The bottle won't open
It's killing me,
The pain can't come out
I can't even scream,
But I'm crying inside
I'm lying on the outside,
Every time I try to speak
I just clam up
I want to release
I want to let go,
But how can I
If you don't know?
I don't know
Where to start
It hurts so much
My heart's so dark,
Clench my fists, there's too much despair,
Why is life so unfair?
I want to tell you
I want to tell you,
You'd be able to put it right,
Glue back the pieces of my broken life,
But I can't, I just can't tell you
How can that make sense
When all I want to do
Is tell you?