A girl
Standing out of place,
Not invisible
Just unnoticed,
Long hair hiding her face...

We judge purely on what we see
But no one really knows what it's like
Being me.

How I'm the peacemaker
Whenever a fight breaks out,
How I'm the referee
If I can see the words go ouch,
How I bandage everyone up afterwards
After the damage has been done,
But it's hard to put a plaster
On someone else's heart,

It's hard to take away the words after they've been said,
See them buzzing round the room
Swarming together,
Leaving once they've safely
Torn that person apart.

How I'm the joker
When everyone needs cheering up,
How I someone manage to put a smile
On everyone's faces except my own,

How I do it so well I even convince myself
That nothing's wrong,
That everything's fine,
But I'm somehow always alone
No one's ever there enough.

How I'm the clear-thinker
Whenever there's a crisis,
Calming everyone down
Stopping people from screaming
That silent, echoing sound,

Soothing out their sorrows
As if they're a creased blanket,
I straighten the edges,
Align the crooked corners,
Dust away the problems,
Perfect, as good as new,
But you never remember the hands
Which have done the work,
But I don't...
I never forget.

How I'm the leader
When everyone needs someone to follow,
How I scrape up some hope,
Dig out some inspiration,
Lift everyone's spirits
Light up their eyes,
Give them a direction to go
Tell them to stand and rise.

How I'm the listener
How I listen so much...
I hear so many things
I don't want to know,
Whenever someone's fed up
My way they come and go.

They offload their worries onto me
It's always so good to talk,
I'm somehow the right person,
In the right place
At the right time,
I'm somehow always there
Trapped by everyone's thoughts.

People go away feeling ten times better
Just by quietly listening
I've in a way set them free,
But I can't forget the things I'm told
Speech is mere silver
Silence more than gold,
If troubles were flight
I'd always be in the air,
But people would somehow always find me
When you've done something once
People automatically assume you'll always be there.

How I feel things so strongly
Eerily, weirdly so,
I pick up on emotions
And feel them like they're my own,
They take me over
So my true feelings are never shown.

I only have to see a picture in the paper
Of a mother who's lost her child,
I see the despair,
The desperation in her face,
The mental torture behind her eyes
And I feel myself becoming tormented
The agony afflicting itself into me,
I cry with the distress,

I feel her screaming, begging,
Pleas of please please please....
It burns me alive,
Harrowing the core of my heart,
It never really dies.
As tears well up in my eyes
I can't even explain it to myself
Let alone the people
Who constantly question me with
Why?

How I'm avoided
Because people simply don't understand,
They think they know me
But their thoughts are like footprints in the sand
And I'm the tide coming in...

Washing them away
Clean away,
They're my friend one minute
Then spreading hateful rumours about me the next,
And people wonder why I hide
Why I run,
Why I can't stay,
Why I say a story
Is the same as a lie?

How I'm always on the outside looking in,
Never in with anyone else,
Like I'm acknowledged but not accepted
No one liking me for myself.

I'm the one everyone forgets to remember,
No one knows my name,
I'm there when you need me
But you're not there when I need you
No matter what happens
It's always the same.

I'm always at the edge
Teetering by an imaginary water bed,
I never master the courage to take the plunge
To muster up some self-belief,
But the odds are always against me
I'd sink, not swim,
Drown in my imaginary reef,
I'm somehow never good enough
I somehow never win.

Whatever I do
There's always someone better at it than me,
There's always someone with that added it factor
They're the one everyone sees
Not me.

How I never know who I am,
I'm always playing different roles,
Like I'm different people in one body
I get so confused
About who or what to be,

I get scared,
I get uncertain,
I feel nervous
I'm always under the weight
Of a tremendous burden,

I switch moods
Whenever I feel at a loss,
I change my face whenever I'm frightened
It doesn't matter what the cost,

I try to search inside myself
For who I really am,
Who I truly should be,
But it always stays hidden
A secret deep within me
My spirit and soul escaping more and more
As each day goes by,
Losing themselves forever
Part of the vast open sky.

How I am,
What I can be,
How my life is,
How people see,
How I don't even when my eyes aren't shut
How I may never be free....

This is what it's like
Being me.