What if my parents had welcomed me with open arms,
Instead of telling me I wasn't wanted
What if they had took time to notice me,
Other than when I brought home all A's on my report card
What if I didn't have to deal with my father's alcoholism,
And watching him abuse my mother
What if my brother had not followed in his footsteps,
Would he still be an addict to alcohol and more
What if the counselors that I confided in had acted,
Taking me away from a home that wasn't.
What if I didn't have to run to marriage as an escape,
In a desperate search to find something better.
What if I knew husbands shouldn't beat their wives,
Perhaps I would have got help sooner.
What if marriage was real and love existed,
Perhaps I would have more faith in what I've never seen.
What if fathers really never left their children,
Perhaps my three would have more joy, less pain.
What if I had a relationship with my blood family,
Perhaps holiidays would be a little less empty.
What if I could just build taller walls to protect,
Maybe my heart and mind could begin to heal.
What if I wait for apologies that never happen
Will the void in my life ever be filled?
What if the people I once knew as Mom and Dad
Never tell me they love me
What if I never feel loved, accepted, wanted,
How do I look in the mirror and feel worthy?