even as the sun shines
it barely leaves an impression,
a tiny imprint upon my skin
which thirsts for a different light.
{still looking for the unattainable.}

we swallow darkness as we sit here
gazing into each other's eyes,
hoping something will change,
some cure to the disease will show
itself in the creases of hope.

don't. i will cry and will not stop
heaping oceans at the foot of your heart.
i'll be embarrassed, and you?
i have no idea what you'll do or think,
i can only imagine and put all my wishes into
a heart i wish to own.

if i told you,
i wanted (more of) you,
how would you react to the glaring state
of my voice
as it tries not to beg and plead ...
it is affected by you,
i linger undressed and dying.
{emotions are harder to control.}

if only it could be easier than this,
this plateau where nothing is settled
and everything wishes to blow away with the wind
and lodge itself deep into the soul.
i could sing to you,
pour my melancholic love into lyrics
that rhyme with reason

i only have these words, these haphazard longings
scattered beneath lines of poetry--
this is my soul mate, my enemy,
my reason to remember.
i execute and am executed,
and still i lay my neck on the block
waiting for the sweet song of the axe
as it slices through skin.

i remember. a story never ends in the way
we are taught.
i love you. but love is never enough.