It doesn't matter
What I do
Drop a few pounds
Add some muscle
Buy a new wardrobe
Trade in my japoli
Quit this
Change that
The list is endless
I've got no chance with you...

You can praise me
For my persistence
It's a futile effort
Becoming foolish
You'll never take me seriously
Maybe if I was...
It would be different
But I'm not going there.

We make our own conditions
You rather be a slave
To ideals out of style
But then again
I'd be your flavor of the month
Use me up
Wear me out then when the euphoria's gone
Back to what is comfortable
The same old song...

You may be older
But you haven't grown up
You can enmesh a mind
In the good book
Recite every verse by rote
Then leave behind a tragic note
For a soul that was never whole
Apologies for rambling
But one gets tired of hearing
How everyone will go to any length
To open a closed mind then
When the moment comes to deliver
The best intentions ain't worth the gamble.

Yet no matter how many times
I criticize and obliterate your defenses
The bottom line is that I hurt badly
Rejection is a motherf.c.kin b.tch
That never shuts up despite being given paradise
Everything she always wanted only
2 spit in my fact and lay down with
The most disgraceful, ungrateful bastard
The lord could ever create
Simply, because you could RELATE.

Yesterday, I would obsess over every glance
Mysterious sigh
And the back of your eyes but
You made a decision
And the conclusion is weak
Holds no water but there is only one judge
It ain't me
But to carry a grudge
Only gives you power
Let your idealizations of beauty
Unifying hands in grasp
Everyone get along
Worthless as the paper
It's written on
Most sour indeed...

How come I must do all the changing
When you remain the same?
Haunting refrain repeated but
I can find a endearing melody
For such bitter words
Encompassing the dissonant symphony...

P-Jan 24, 2008.