She insisted to those
Who bothered to listen
That he was different
From the rest
Kind, wonderful, considerate
Conjurer of ecstatic bedtime stories
What promises must lay ahead
Beyond the honeymoon!
So strap yourself in tightly
For I'm in the ride of my life
As the circle of friends shrink
Burned out by the frantic, pathetic
Late night phone calls
The fall of reason...

It wasn't the tale I predicted
But it ain't the death knell either
Guess I somehow glossed over the character defects
That stuck out like a bloody thumb
Jobless, poor, uncultured
The vultures circled the diamond in the rough
If I just give him love, time and
Become the mother he never had
Well...

Just a push, playful
Then a slap, regretful
A punch, unforgettable
Apologies profusely, flowers and candy
Dinner at a fancy resturant
Where did he get the money?
Besides, he was so damn charming
That I gave in and repressed
The ugliness and just an unfortunate
Slip along the road to holy matrimony
As I rummage through the bills
Overdrawn, credit frozen
Shreds of paper at the bottom
Of a dirty garbage can...

The change of seasons
I haven't seen snow in ages
How beautiful it remains
As I remember thinking
While we drove through the desolate plains of Kansas
The look in his eyes
Somewhere else, searching for peace
Perhaps not in this life
And then he turned a unexpected phrase
What bodies must be buried
Out here, never to be found
Then seeing the reflection of the knife
Pressed against my neck
You'll never leave me, he said repeatedly
I am you
You are mine
Intertwined forever
The last time
I heard him...speak.

They were wrong
He was different
Yesterday, I was blessed to walk away
Today, I'm a victim of circumstance
I don't think they take late night phone calls
In heaven...But
I'd do anything for another breath.

P-Dec 3, 2008, Mar 7, 2009.