searching for my true love,
feels like an elusive dream;
sifting through those i'm attracted
who are never what they seem.

the strapping guy with comely eyes
reels me in from across the bar.
he makes me melt in my chair
but leaves my heart with a scar.

a married guy named the same;
i used to take his place
was just a stepping stone
i wish i could erase!

i return to the sturdy fellow
with the magnetic smile
back on a familiar path
then ejected after a while.

to a kind man and good dad
who wanted more than a friend
i thought maybe it could work,
and perhaps both of us mend.

that too was a mistake
i wish i never made,
even though i have a control
to compare those i've laid!

more random nights together;
again the stocky guy lets me go,
sending me into a tail spin
i hit an all time low.

i was drowning my sorrows
night after night at the bar
then on june 24th
in walked my shining star!

to look at him, you wouldn't know it
he seems like the guy next door
but to all that was ailing me,
he was definitely the cure.

personality and compassion
mixed with kindness and charm
this man was my angel
who would do me no harm!

with my unresolved issues
i used him as a crutch;
of course i see now
i needed him too much!

he knew my whole story
and still chose to be a buddy.
i really think i scared him
with waters too muddy!

he personifies perfection,
the gentleman of which i speak
who would let me do no more
than to kiss him on the cheek.

so back to drinking i go;
cellebrating my birthday-night.
filling a double wide void
i leave with a guy in a bar-fight!

once again a bad descision
that i wish i didn't make
thank God i decided
that's all i can take!

i put an end to the drinking
and with it bad choices.
healing from the inside-out
i'm listening to positive voices!

i don't need a relationship
to make me feel whole
first and foremost what i want
is to get my life under control.