a reckless journey began
when i found a new feeling,
i didn't know it's name
til i began my healing.

it was a magic drug
that made me come "alive"!
the person that yield it;
put me in over drive!

for the very first time,
i felt intimate with a man!
capture it at any cost;
seemed to be my plan.

the pleasurable sensation,
i believe was one-sided.
rushed adrenaline through my body
when i laid down, beside it!

how could it be so wrong?
he made me feel so "right"!!
i wanted to have him;
just about every night!

i became an addict
to this "feeling" i found,
searching for it in others
when he didn't want me around.

my morals, ethics
and self respect were lost;
i needed to be with him
no matter the cost.

just like any other junkie
i couldn't shake the hold;
to the devil himself
my soul had been sold!

intimacy and closeness
are the sensations i found,
yet it wasn't reciprocated
so in my tears i drowned!

until they're blue in the face
people beg an addict to quit,
but it will never happen
until the fiend sees fit!

a relationship's only healthy
when both people feel the same,
i long for the day
that i can make that claim!

when i stopped drinking
the pieces fell into place;
and my many mistakes:
oh, how i wish i could erase!!!

i had to quit him cold turkey
and came to my senses.
the time is now,
to start mending fences.