Catching lightning bugs is a tricky business.
Sometimes I think loving you is much like this.
You have to blindly lunge into the dark and hope you have grabbed the right piece of air.
You see lots of little blinks in your jar and are delighted at the show. You may imagine this is affection.
After only a few minutes the blinks cease with a similar consistency. Doubt creeps in about the worthiness of this endeavor. You think about shaking the jar, but that really does seem mean-hearted. Having a captive is a rather guilt ridden proposition.
That wasn’t how this was supposed to go.
Occasionally there is a little blink from your jar and it brings no delight.
You cast your eyes across the yard and see all the play and joy in the lights near the back hedge. You begin to have clarity about your situation.
With hope and anticipation you open your jar and move about to let your little creature free.
Suddenly aware your recent captive flies out to join his compadres. Your heart claps and your jar sits empty. With new perspective you smile and know that with whatever limited vision you have tried and you have loved and you have been changed by it.

2/15/09 Donnelly