Forgiveness I Seek
This glass I raise
The toast I drink
Is to you, my love
Of whom I think
In the short while
You, in my heart
I doubted never
You would depart
Laughter to pain
Sunshine to rain
Your feelings turned
From delight to disdain
This sorry state
What has become
Of your love, now hate
Of this lowly scum
Pain did I wreak
Hurt did I inflict
Tears did I bring
To your lovely cheek
Full of doubt
Frail and weak
It’s not as redoubt
Your forgiveness I seek
If you reject
My earnest plea
Please, at times
Think kindly of me
Dolan Fernandes
2008
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Dolan
I'm a little confused after reading this piece. It went so suddenly from sunshine and roses to I hate your guts. Perhaps if you were to let the reader know a little bit of why the drastic shange it would be a little easier to assimilate. Just a thought on my part, if you are happy with the results by all means run with it.
Your friend and buddy,
Pete
Pete
The toast is raised in irony. Like sanity and madness so does love and hate exist. They are side by side and, any small move, either way and there you are!
There is a verse there relating to pain caused, and the resultant change.
Living in increments is one great bore.
Your pal,
Dolan
it's interesting to me
the ability to express emotion while keeping within the rhyme. Rhythm moves forward. raskin
Forgiveness
I saw this piece as a plea for forgiveness for past wrongs, pure and simple. It is a beautiful ending line you have choosen Dolan, that reflects a tenderness on the subect in question.
Debs
Forgiveness
Thanks Debs and Raskin for your comments. The forgiveness thing is a touchy subject due to people's fixation on ego.
Once a person sincerely asks for forgiveness, it is immaterial whether that forgiveness is granted or not.
There's closure, and life moves on
Dolan
very true
then there is acceptance of either being forgiven or not and letting go of the grief. This was really good, thanks. raskin
Indifference
Loved the piece.It made me think of my thoughts in love turning to hate.It seems if a man has gone from my love to hate he still has a hold on me.I strive for indifference.When you reach that it is over.
Gloria
Very True
Gloria,
You have it all right in your head. I know what you've said is spot on.
Dolan