.
mom, i just realized that even though
they didn't happen to me
those things you went through,
all those cruel things so many
evil men did to you,
i just realized how
strongly i felt them too
i went through it all
of course, not in the same way as you,
but your lessons were also mine,
and i think it helps me now
to know what is and isn't true.

it helps me know who i can trust
and how to deal
when tust is betrayed
or truth starts to fade.

my girlfriends have tried to imply
that i don't know how
to recognize a lie.
they think since i've only been
with two, now three, men
that i'm somehow too innocent.
i can't expect them to recognize
the shit we went through,
or my observations
as a child at your side.

i'm a bit grateful to those men
even though i've got my own
baggage because of them...
i may hesitate
to take an outstretched hand,
and i have to really try
to empathize when weak women
let stupid men walk all over them,
i go a little too far with a battle cry,
and sometimes i forget
to give real men their credit.

because of them too,
i get surprised when
men are honest about feelings.
i assume that most of those
who passed through our lives
didn't know how to feel anything.
they were bastards who used jewelry
when they didn't know what to say,
who would by you a ring
just to get their way.

so, maybe because of those men
i grew up thinking that none could feel
and that means that while
i was learning your lessons with you,
i created some of my own to work through.
you may feel sad that those assholes
affected me, but i'm actually glad.
their selfish lies have helped me to see
my own relationships differently.