I made cookies
and picked out the best ones
to give to you
a peace offering
a plea, to beg your forgiveness
to just be in your presence
a few minutes more—
I’m not a bad guy
just composed of a lot of flaws

tried really hard to put my best foot
got it stuck in my mouth and
couldn’t sleep, so I wrote you the truth
knowing all along the risk

I missed you before I even hit Send

you can’t hate me as much as I hate myself
which is perhaps reason enough to never want
to see me again

I placed the cookies in a ziplock bag
hoped to god the delicates wouldn’t crumble

but the sun broke through the plastic
whispered his warm rays
warmed them to breaking
I nearly cried
for I wanted to hand you perfection
that was a lie

you couldn’t meet
(perhaps you knew it meant too much)
permit me to explain my err
spill out my heart
give some clarity to my divided mind
convince you that I’m not bad, really

I had to accept your answer
despite my longing
ignoring the angry child that wants
to be satisfied only by you—

I had to accept what is now

don’t want to stay if it means

want to go where you are
destination unkown
status unknown—
maybe the mountains
maybe some greasy spoon

your voice in my ear
another kiss I’ve waited
far too long for
(I will continue too, if that’s what you want)

fate dropped by and took the cookies meant for you
and told me to stop resisting
and go along with what is
so, I closed my eyes
gave my apologies
and kept the secret
either way I think
I’m lost

is there still time

walking unfamiliar territory here
in uncomfortable shoes
and will gladly wear the blisters
if there is.