Once Upon a Friend
A song on the radio reminds me of you,
Of when we were young, and worries were few,
But people change and relationships end,
For 25 years, you were my best friend.
We were like brothers, inseparable peers,
We shared fun times, and turmoil and tears,
Ever there for each other, always on hand,
Upon marriage, we were each other's 'best man'.
I see you in sepia, in black and white,
In color photos, in my dreams at night,
We had so many laughs, good memories,
I still think of you, bittersweet reveries.
I really didn't want the good times to end,
I'm still hurt you turned your back on a friend,
To be honest, I expected more,
And even now the wound is still raw.
It's too late though for empty gestures,
White flags, doves of peace, olive branches,
I'm too far away to knock on your door,
If I knew your number, I'd give you a call.
I wonder what you're doing today,
Are you writing still? Is your health okay?
And do you still live at the same address?
I wish you well, best of luck, God bless.
Copyright ⓒ Chris Ryall 2013
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Pointless Loss
Losing a friend that one likens to a brother is both emotionally painful and also extremely irritating. What a waste of a time, a waste of friendship, and what a hole it leaves in its absence. Hard to shake after 25 years. How can a mature adult still act so childishly? It's been over 5 years now with seemingly no hope of a reconciliation. So sad and unnecessary. Life goes on. Regards,
Chris
Bittersweet
This is a beautiful peom and all the more beautiful because it is true.
Like my favorite poet John Keats said,"Truth is beauty,beauty truth."
I'm sorry for your loss. I'll pray that God gives you the wisdom to turn this experience
to the glory of God. I know how it feels to say goodbye to a friend whom i'll probably never see again. I made friends with an exchange student from Belgium. But when she left, it was hard to deall with. But this quote helped me a lot. It said, " Don't cry because it's over,smile because it happened." We hould never regret anything that caused us joy. Though the ending is bitter, let the memories stay sweet.
Warmest regards, your sister in Christ,
Abigail Joy
Bittersweet Memories
Dear Abigail,
Thanks so much. You are so right - I should smile because the friendship happened, rather than cry because it ended. Funny what you said about this experience being for the glory of God, as my friend refused to believe in Jesus Christ, although he did believe in 'a God', but not the one from the bible. He was a huge believer in reincarnation and intelligent life forms on other planets. What can I say? Perhaps he was removed from my life? LOL. Maybe.
I had a similar experience to you, in that I had a homestay in Gifu when I first came to Japan. It was only for two weeks, but they were so very kind and generous (Japanese hospitality is amazing), and at the end when we parted, there were many tears on both sides. Heh. Love and kindness really touch one's heart, eh?
Warmest regards,
Love, Chris
Friends
Chris,
My father was in the military. I made new friends every two to three years. I do have a couple of friends that I have stayed in touch with through the miles and years.
It seems we can outgrow each other. I am like you ... I think it should be possible to change and not forget the immeasurable joy of a lasting friendship.
If only we could be more like kids ... and forgive and forget ... and enjoy the company of each other.
I have made many mistakes in my life ... but I can not recall ever leaving a friend with the intent to hurt them.
You are an awesome friend Chris. I believe your friend has lost out on a remarkable journey with you.
I have dreams with people from my past in them. I recently had a dream of a woman that used to play the organ at a Catholic Church I used to sing for. She died a few years ago, unexpectedly. I did not attend her funeral because I had moved to Texas. We were friends that had gone our separate ways. I dreamed that she hugged me and passed through me ... I woke up with the most beautiful feeling.
May your friend find peace and realize how precious all love is.
Love,
Kathy
Dallas, Texas
Rolling Stones ...
Dear Kathy,
I thank God that I still have friends like you, and Paul, and Abigail in my (on-line) life. Sadly, I think I have more friends on-line than I do in real life! Ha ha. But when one lives in a remote community like I do, the internet is all one has to connect with people (including family). Mutual interests and shared hearts also helped bond the friendships on this poetry site. I'm glad that you have been able to maintain contact with some of your friends from long ago. That's wonderful.
Thank you for your kind words. I feel that my friend must also be hurting, but he has severed contact and has too much pride to re-initiate any sort of communication. Oh well, as you said, I must remember the good times with joy, and forget how it ended. Your experience of seeing an old friend in your dreams is amazing. I had one dream after Dad passed away that he came to me in this burst of light and said 'goodbye', as I was in Japan when he died, and couldn't get back in time. (Same story with my Mum actually). Dreams are more than just random thoughts I think, but sometimes a path-way to another plane of existence. If I was trying to interpret your dream, I would suggest that she put the past behind her, remembered you fondly, and sent you her love. I hope my friend finds peace also.
Love always,
Chris
One Art
Leaking Pen
Dear Chris, your heart felt feelings about such loss, whenever I am at a loss of words I seek shelter in poetry's heart, when I read your lament - Elizabeth Bishop's "One Art" came to mind immediately , hope that will help ease your pain
Truly
Paul
One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Seeking Solace in Poetry
Dear Paul,
Thank you so very much for your kind, thoughtful response, and for sharing that philosophical poem by Elizabeth Bishop with me - much appreciated. Funnily enough, it's not the art of losing things that I need to master, but the art of keeping them! LOL. I think fate plays a certain role, and people are destined to come in and out of our lives. Being able to say goodbye without sadness and regrets is a hard lesson in life. I'm grateful for your friendship, mate.
Best wishes,
Chris
No man is an island,
Leaking Pen
Dear Chris
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
John Donne
The Way
Chris and Paul,
Two great poets, two great friends, moving the world with their pens.
"How do I love thee? ... Let me count the ways."
Such grace ... having a place ... to grow thoughts and know our love can never be bought.
I applaud you ... just as you are ... because you both have a way of showing me the way.
Love,
Kathy :o)
Dallas, Texas
Friends, Lend Me Your Pens
Dear Kathy and Paul,
Thank you so very much for both your love, friendship and support, as well as your amazing and inspirational poetry. Paul, thanks for that poem by John Dunne, and Kathy, thanks for your kind and encouraging words - much appreciated, both of you. It's so wonderful to have such great friends (even if we have never met face to face!). Through our poetry, and your very talented pens, we have bonded, and our hearts have been as one. May you continue to be, for me, the moon and the sun. Our poems, like the stars, shine in the nightly skies above, and as we gaze at the way they sparkle, reading them makes us feel not so alone in the world. For that I am truly and eternally grateful. God bless,
Love,
Chris