I love the way your hair covers your hidden brown eyes
And how your laugh makes my small heart crack a smile
You’re presents fills my body with incredible fears
The effect you have is indescribable
Being able to make my whole day perfect with a simple “hello”.
But you’re not all good you know
You’ve hurt me,
Forgotten me, and worst
You’ve broken me.
The one person I loved hurt me the worst and I let it happen
Over and over
Time after time
Thinking you were truly sorry and felt the same as I did
I’ve lost friends because of you
I’ve caused hurt to my friends because of you
I’ve been deprived of love forever
The will to trust anybody does not exist;
Even the closest friends don’t know a simple truth about me
Because I’ve turned to fear and sadness instead of trust and joy
You’ve taken so much away from me and no sorry could ever make it better
You’re constantly in my memory
The happiest moment could occur and your soul would appear;
Only for me to see, No one else.
It would be great if you were there to share those special moments with me
But it would also be great if you actually showed you honestly cared
For once.

Each song, every word spoken brings back a memory of us
Mostly sad, bringing back all the pain back
Hitting me in the stomach with such power, making it hard to breath
Unable to control my anything in my body.
But some are good
Laughs and smiles joined.
Hugs and kisses shared.
However those happy times are becoming overshadowed
With all the sorrow you have brought upon me.

I bet you’d never think I’d be writing about you
I bet you don’t ever think about me,
Not one second thought.
Well you’ve disappointed me enough times
So one more time wouldn’t surprise me

How are you?
Happy I expect. Talking to another
Not as vulnerable, not as weak
Much prettier, more potential
Sweet talking her just like you did to me
Using the same tender humor to make her feel so special
And having her smile with amazing joy,
Joy that I use to feel when you spoke those same beautiful words
How am I? Me?
You would never ask. You would never truly care.
But I’ll tell you anyways.
I’ve been taken and tortured by the dark side of love
It has ripped and torn me
And now it haunts me;
Reminding me of the shame it’s put me through
Laughing at me for falling for the lie
Making me believe it was all real
Always on his side and never to be on mine.

I’ve been through humiliation for you
Everyone knowing my desperation of lust for you
And you ignoring it, pushing it aside for something you thought was better
People thinking I’m the most pathetic little thingy
Mocking me at my lowest and never having mercy

As much as you have caused me to suffer,
I could never do the same,
Not to you or anyone else
I would in no way ever put somebody through that kind of pain
Make them feel like they’re worth nothing
Have them find out they were just a tool
For your own pleasure and then suddenly forgotten.
I’d be just as bad as you.
People look at you and see a nice, handsome guy
Maybe that’s how you really are
Because that’s how you were at first,
But then I began to hear excuse after excuse,
Less and less apologies,
And further sadness in my life.

Why me? I would never hurt you,
I would never lie, never make you feel alone.
The constant confusion is killing me;
My emotions are everywhere and
Now my private life has been revealed to every part of my life.
I am forced to put a smile on and become discreet;
Nobody suspecting anything, not one friend has a concern
They have no idea what I have endured;
Not being able to express my inner most thoughts to them
Because they won’t be worried.
They’ll feel I’m too young to know what I’m talking about or
To understand what real love is.
It’s not even about love anymore;
It’s the pain, it’s real and suffocating me into such a weak person.
But they aren’t able to see that and I can’t blame them.
They can’t help me either way.
This forces me to hold everything in;
Not express my true opinion on the matter
Making me into something I’m not.
My tears must be held in and never fall, again.