You Take Me Where I Want To Go
You take me where I want to go, because your love there moves me so
We roam the earth embracing hands, threading the seas to far-off lands
On purple mountains stretching high, or through the vallies lying nigh
Behind the rushing waterfalls, on naked rocks our loving sprawls
Lip-locking in a hollow birch, her hazel eyes take me to church
Her auburn hair, so softly feels, like gliding down red-satin hills
To silver sands beneath the sun, on beaches where my heart can run..
Enchanting me just like a tourist, brightening my soul, just like a forest
We'd stow-away so free and errant, to lustful fields, far from our parents
As open-highways drift with ease, I'd watch her arms swim through the breeze
Oh how she elevates my life; my thoughtful and affectionate wife-
To pristine lands, layed-out in snow, you take me where I want to go.
- Bryce E Coast's blog
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Cute!
For your loved one..soo cute! Very simular to mine today Bryce LOL!
I think what i like about it most is its rhythm, i also like the meter in this verse for pieces like this-Just free flowing across the page.
Take care
DEbs
Thankyou Debs x :.)
Very Much!^ _ ^... I actually had to alter a few lines on this one, (because i typed it from my cellphone), but i'm glad the format didn't throw you off ~ thanks my friend~ BRYCE
Bryce
The way that I have been previously chastised for actually adding critique to my comments makes me almost afraid to comment on this piece. I will stick my neck out.
The content and spirit of the piece were both wonderful and I give you high marks for that. Within the piece I can't help but feel that your reached for and forced a few of the rhymes. I have a personal distaste for the life/strife rhyme, but that's my own personal issue.
If my being honest in my assessment of this piece loses me another buddy it would be a sad occasion. I would much rather have thruthfulness in the comments on my work than vanilla.
Pete
Pete...
I could never be offended by true honesty... actually i think i've used that 'life/strife' line a bit too often in my poems. I've set a much more fitting word for that line) and gone over the other lines as sprucely as i could for this 1 ~thanks for the read~ BRYCE
bryce ...
This has a silky sensual feel to it....i love reading it.
im sure your girl with the hazel eyes, loves listening to you read it to her...nice nice write.
Linda
:*)
linda, my frienda ...
Yes she does! ^ _ ^... (these aren't the entire lyrics for the song i wrote), but it's a good enough sampling of it. I play alot of songs on the guitar ~thanks for the read~ BRYCE
You Are Beautiful!..
Oh.. and by the way, this was an extravagant sampling! Looks like she takes you to the ends of the universe)) -Miss Becca
Thankyou PajamaMama ^ _ ^
I love the name that you have chosen for yourself {lolz}... I'm very appreciative of your comment here Becca.. Welcome to the Showcase!! ~BRYCE
P.S. thanks for reading and commenting on my other poem(it's so much welcome around here) and 4 the invite 2
No... Thankyou!
For being so expressive in all of your writes(you do a good job at that) Thanks for accepting the invite, and i sure look forward to reading and sharing more myself -Miss Becca
Bryce.....so lovely....
this was a sweet read and very romantic....peace
Madam Repenter..
thanks for stopping in friend (and once again, i'm sorry about my mishap on that comment), love your writes ~BRYCE
lol...no worries Bryce....
you know, I could get used to that...''Madam Repenter''.......sounds so odd but I like it, :)
truly enchanting, Bryce...
I love the sound and feel of this one. Utterly beautiful (sometimes I think that word is overused by me and other commenters, but how else can you describe something so lovely!)
joyce
"Rejoycing"
Thanks Joyce... love hearing your voice...{WoW} with this many comments {rare} I'll be taking a long vacation now {LOLz}
What A Write!
Great piece, love the way it flows, really great write,
Dave
David...
thanks to you too, i'm glad it turned out well ~B.E.Coast