Wish I could yell at you.
Be Mad!
Just burst in anger.
Scream for once the grudges of my heart!
Scold you once in a while.
Or maybe argue intensely!

But I can't...

The moment that you speak,
with a tone at its peak,
It makes me weak,
quiet,
Shake and sweaty,
Motionless.
As if my world stopped
While your's kept on revolving.

I'm a useless piece of shit!
Can't get mad at you for once!
or even a second!

I have to control my temper,
the momentarily hate,
suppress them,
until they are none.
Conquer them
to
overthrow such emotions.

When my
Lips separate,
Mouth's ajar,
Voice trembling.

And what was supposed to come out,
a hate phrase
Became an apologetic utterance,
an unpretentious sorry.
A plea.
Not to be mad.
Not to hate.
Not to leave.
never to abandon me.

I just cant fight back.
Because
I'm terrified
That you won't backdown.
That you'll leave.

And I'm afraid
That you're not afraid
That i might leave you.
I'm scared
That when I get mad
You won't even care.

So i've left with nothing to say.
Suddenly, there's just a blank moment
dead air.
I'm waiting,
for you to cool off,
In silence.